Turning Toward Home
I’m noticing the small things again…inspecting them carefully, noticing their details. Simple things, like the way the frost thickly rests upon branches, dressing them for winter, the way things feel in my hands, the touch of the wind, and the pure joy that comes at sound of my children’s laughter. I hear the music again. The music that’s always playing within our souls, leading us to live free and whole.
You see, I’ve been quiet. And I’ve needed to write these words for a while a now, but truthfully, I wasn’t sure how to say everything that needs to be said.
This summer, I lost myself and found myself all at the same time. In the middle of dreams coming true (Tammy and I opened The Well Collaborative this past April), I was strung heavy with anxiety and fear. The feeling was so overwhelming and I started to sink under the weight of it all. I was not okay. The biggest indicator was my inability to be present with my kids, to REALLY enjoy them. I was loosing my mind over things that shouldn’t matter, and I was not showing up for them in the way I knew they needed me to. In addition, my health was sending me sign after sign that something had to change.
So like grace reaching in, Tammy gave me space and time to figure it all out. I took July off and spent time at home with my family. It’s funny though, how the moment you slow down everything you didn’t have time to deal with comes and hits you like a ton of bricks. And so I let it come, wave after wave, I let myself feel the things that had been weighing in the balance. And slowly, piece by piece, I started to come back together again — I started to feel more like me again.
By September it was clear what I needed to do. I realized I just couldn’t keep carrying The Well. I loved it, in fact, I had put my whole heart into it, but it just wasn’t for me to keep. I knew my family needed me home, and they needed me healthy. So Tammy and I had that hard conversation, and decided that she would run The Well, and that I would run Meraki + Light.
I want you all to know a few things. Some of you are asking, “how are you and Tammy doing?” The answer is good…really good. It’s been HARD for sure — hard conversations, pain, grief — we’ve felt it all, but I’m deeply thankful for who she is, and I’m truly BLESSED that all of this unfolded with her — someone who holds so tightly to love. We are most definitely still dear, life-long friends, and everything we’ve built together is worth more then gold. So, no, this hasn’t ruined us — love was always on the table, and it always will be.
Well, you will find me here, continuing to create through imagery, capturing love stories of all kinds. At the end of the day, I just needed to take on less, so I could be fully present for my family, giving them my very best. I’m once again caught up in the simple, slow musings of life, and finding joy in every corner — so aware of the goodness of God. I’ve found healing in my breaking, and I hope if you feel like you’re breaking, that you will too.
Tammy will continue supporting and uplifting women at The Well - something she was truly made for! You can also find her at Tammy Zdunich, capturing women in the most beautiful way — so if you need to connect with the beauty inside you or connect with a community of supportive and loving women, she’s your girl. If you’ve been with her since the beginning and she’s your family photographer, I’m positive she still wants to take your yearly family photos - so don’t worry!
Lastly, to all of our clients, it’s been a dream serving you as a team, and we are grateful for all the memories we created together. We’re still here for you, things just look a little differently! Let’s keep loving and creating together.