what we learn through struggle
Tamarah and I have both been going through some struggles lately. Nothing serious, just life becoming a little overwhelming. When I spoke with Tamarah on the phone today (more like cried), she mentioned that maybe I should share this on our blog.
Sometimes we look like we have it all together, but we don’t. Can anyone relate?
I depend a lot on my hubby. He truly is my help-mate, and he is an equal partner. But as of late his work has been taking him on the road. And our whole family misses him with our whole selves. There are lots of tears, and mommy takes her turn too. And sometimes mommy isn’t herself, and she loses patience often, and has a distant look on her face. That’s me this time, this distant mommy.
time to take a deep breathe
So last nite my boy wasn’t quite getting into bed as quickly as I would have liked. I needed that ‘alone time’ that all parents crave. The quiet, silent, possibly binge~watching~TV, time. So I lost my patience a bit and was stern with my boy. This lovely boy whom I adore. Who does everything to make it ok, and who is just learning because, well, he’s only 8! After a little time had passed I knew I needed to mend this. I went upstairs to his room and I apologized. A fairly frequent event in our home. Parents humbling themselves in front of their children.
Of course he said sorry and that I wasn’t mean (bless his heart), and that it was ok because he spoke with God and ‘God has comforted him’.
My mind instantly went to a place of gratitude. But it also hit places I didn’t know about. The place where my son has his own relationship with his heavenly Father, the place where he is comforted by this perfect love. I told him this made me so happy because while I am not perfect and will always make mistakes, God will never fail us. His love is complete and trustworthy and full. And can I just tell you how grateful I am that where I fail, God meets my son and carries him? what?! My heart just burst.
My child trusts in the Lord and Holy Spirit, already. And God loves me and my family so much that He wraps Himself around us when the world falls flat and even when things are good. In all things He loves us.
So I guess I am just in awe today. To know that we are taken care of no matter what. That when I struggle, there is God just handling it for me. Do you hear me moms? Do you really hear what I’m saying? we will fail, we won’t be perfect, we can’t. But we have a Father who is. And it’s not just our relationship with Him, but it’s the work He’s doing with our kids. All on their own, in the dark of their rooms, even when we’re not listening.
Oh to live this way, what a relief and sweet sweet joy.
I am so grateful for these hard times. When I can’t do it all by myself, and when I have no choice but to let go and let God. May I learn to do this in all times and not just the hard times. Because He is always faithful.