Often I am asleep the moment my head hits the pillow, but sometimes it's a struggle. A sure sign of something else going on.
Life has pain, you cannot avoid it. You can pray over it, about it, and even ask for healing. I am grateful for any form of healing that comes, whether physical or mental. I know God will heal my pain and I will find resolve, but what to do in the meantime?
I lay awake tonight thinking about the pain I am walking in today. In this phase of life. I know it will pass but I also want it to teach me while it's here.
I think those closest to me would rather I just let it go or forget. But how can I forget?
My heart is vast and longs for so many things.
To forgive, to be forgiven, to never ever hurt anyone, to solve all the problems. But each step I take can potentially cause hurt, and there is a point where you cannot fret over every life decision all the time.
Imagine what deep heart pain living like that would cause?
So I keep moving through the pain. And I welcome stories from others, I welcome conviction and truth from those trusted friends, I also welcome my own imperfections and mistakes.
This is a long walk, and I will make friends with the pain. I won't let it make me avoid or close myself off. I will knock down those walls that are trying so hard to lay brick after brick. You are not welcome here walls. I am free. I am love. I am willing.